Quote-Unquote "President" Donald J. Trump and First Lady Melania Trump Announce 2017 White House Easter Egg Roll

Quote-Unquote “President” Donald J. Trump and First Lady Melania Trump are happy to announce initial details for the 139th White House Easter Egg Roll. The Easter Egg Roll will take place Monday, April 17, 2017, on the South Lawn of the White House. Families with children 13 years old and younger and a combined net worth of $250,000 or more are invited to join the Quote-Unquote “President,” White House staff, and several completely innocuous Russian-speaking individuals for a day of festivities. (The First Lady will not be in attendance, because OMG tacky.)

The White House Easter Egg Roll is a timeless White House tradition, dating back to 1878 and the presidency of President Rutherford B. Hayes. The Quote-Unquote “President” and First Lady are honored to continue the traditions of the past, while weaving new traditions into the fabric of our Nation’s history, such as making it a Cabinet-level priority that the Roll feature only the biggest, greatest, most beautiful eggs.

White House Easter Egg Roll tickets are free to the public. They will be allotted through an online lottery, but it wouldn’t hurt your chances any if you’ve stayed at a Trump hotel in the last few months, if you know what we mean. Exclusive Gold and Exclusive Platinum members of the TRUMP CARD® Privileges Program will enjoy such premium Egg Roll benefits as baskets lined with reproductions of Old Master paintings and free golf cart service to and from each egg location.