Remarks by Quote-Unquote "President" Trump in Press Conference

12:55 P.M. EST

THE QUOTE-UNQUOTE “PRESIDENT”: Thank you very much. I just wanted to begin by mentioning that the nominee for Secretary of the Department of Labor will be Mr. Alex Acosta. Remember that name, you won’t be hearing it again from me today.

I think I’ll say a few words, and then we’ll take some questions. Unless you have no questions. That’s always a possibility.

I’m here today to update the American people on the incredible progress that has been made in the last four weeks since my inauguration. We have made incredible progress. I don’t think there’s ever been a President elected who, in this short period of time, has done what we’ve done.

The incredible progress we have made is so obvious that I’m not going to tell you about any of the things we’ve accomplished. Look out your window, you’ll see it right away. It’s incredible. So let’s talk about what’s really important: polls and cable news.

A new Rasmussen poll, in fact – because the people get it; much of the media doesn’t get it. They actually get it, but they don’t write it – let’s put it that way. But a new Rasmussen poll just came out a very short while ago, and it has our approval rating at 55 percent and going up. Of course the fake news, as I like to call them, says that every other poll puts our approval rating much lower. “Average them all together and you get 44.6 percent,” they say, as if that means anything. These are the kind of attacks I have to deal with every day. Every day.

I’m making this presentation directly to the American people with the media present, which is an honor to have you this morning, even though most of you are bought-and-paid-for professional liars. I hope going forward we can be a little bit different, and maybe get along a little bit better, if that’s possible. Maybe it’s not, because you are all liars, and that’s OK too.

Unfortunately, much of the media in Washington, D.C., along with New York, Los Angeles, in particular, speaks not for the people but for the special interests and for those profiting off a very, very obviously broken system. There’s a reason being a journalist has been ranked as the worst job in America, it’s because of the back problems they develop from carting away all that money. Serious back problems.

I ran for President to represent the citizens of our country. I am here to change the broken system so it serves their families and their communities well. I will do that by browbeating reporters until they stop saying mean things about me.

But as you know, our administration inherited many problems across government and across the economy. To be honest, I inherited a mess – it’s a mess – at home and abroad. Unemployment is low, job growth is higher than expected, stock markets are at record highs. It’s a mess. A mess.

Beginning on day one, our administration went to work to tackle these challenges. On foreign affairs, we’ve already begun enormously productive talks with many foreign leaders, particularly in Russia. Really, really productive conversations. I would say far more productive than you would understand. We’ve even developed a new council with Canada to promote women’s business leaders and entrepreneurs, so that’s solved.

I have directed our defense community, headed by our great general, now Secretary Mattis, to submit a plan for the defeat of ISIS, a group that celebrates the murder and torture of innocent people in large sections of the world. I have asked for that plan to be no more than one page long, because come on. I’m a very busy man, very busy. Secretary Mattis helpfully suggested that it be formatted in Comic Sans.

I’m here following through on what I pledged to do. That’s all I’m doing. I put it out before the American people. Got 306 Electoral College votes. I wasn’t supposed to get 222. They said 270, which you need, that was laughable. We got 306 because 107,000 voters in three Midwestern states came out and voted like they’d never seen before. So that’s the way it goes. I guess it was the biggest Electoral College win since Dewey beat Truman.

In other words, the media is trying to attack our administration because they know we are following through on pledges that we made, and they’re not happy about it for whatever reason. But a lot of people are happy about it. My children, for instance, and the Nazis I keep around to advise me on various subjects. They’re very happy.

I turn on the TV, open the newspapers, and I see stories of chaos. Chaos! Yet, it is the exact opposite. This administration is running like a fine-tuned machine, like a fine Italian automobile, despite the fact that I can’t get my Cabinet approved. I just got here. I got here with no Cabinet. Every other President had his Cabinet issued to him on day one, right out of the gate, but not me. They made me pick my own, and then Congress wanted to vote on them, if you can believe that.

I’d list some of the many things we’ve done in just a short period of time, many things, but since most of them are either purely symbolic or things that haven’t actually been finished, let’s go straight to the questions. Mara. Mara, go ahead.

Q: Did you fire Mike Flynn?

THE QUOTE-UNQUOTE “PRESIDENT”: Mike Flynn is a fine person, and I asked for his resignation. These two statements do not contradict each other in any way, by the way. In any way.

He didn’t have to do that, because I am really not very observant when it comes to details. Things like which people with access to highly classified information called which Russian intelligence assets and when, I mean, whatever. I’m a very busy man, I don’t pay attention to things like that, so it’s not a problem.

What was a problem was the way that other people, including yourselves in this room, were given that information, because that was classified information that was given illegally. And I am absolutely against leaking sensitive information, unless it’s information about people who are running against me, in which case I am all for it. All for it. These are also two statements that do not contradict each other.

Yes, go ahead.

Q: Why did you keep your Vice President in the dark for nearly two weeks?

THE QUOTE-UNQUOTE “PRESIDENT”: Because when I looked at the information, I said, I don’t think there’s any reason Mike Pence has to hear about this. What you have to understand is that I don’t like Mike Pence very much. It’s the eyes, the beady little black eyes. The man looks like a snake. It’s true. A snake. You’ve seen him, you know what I’m talking about.

And, with Mike Flynn, I appointed him. And I only appoint the best people. The best people. So if one of them happens to lie to the Vice President, well, it’s right there in the name. Vice President. Not President. Vice.

But then someone told you people, you people in this room, about it. And that just wasn’t acceptable to me.

Yes.

Q: President Trump, since you brought up Russia, I’m looking for some clarification here. During the campaign, did anyone from your team communicate with members of the Russian government or Russian intelligence? And if so, what was the nature of those conversations?

THE QUOTE-UNQUOTE “PRESIDENT”: Well, the failing New York Times wrote a big, long front-page story yesterday. And it was very much discredited, as you know. Maybe you don’t know that, I know that. Or I believe it, which is the same thing. The same.

I can tell you, speaking for myself, I own nothing in Russia. I have no loans in Russia. I don’t have any deals in Russia. You can confirm this for yourself, by the way. Just look at my tax returns, it’s all there. All the things I don’t own and loans I don’t have and deals I don’t have. All there in black and white.

Q: But you have consistently refused to release your tax returns…

THE QUOTE-UNQUOTE “PRESIDENT”: And I will continue to refuse to release them. They are none of your business. None.

Russia is fake news. Russia – this is fake news put out by the media. In fact, most people don’t understand this, Russia doesn’t even really exist. There is no country named Russia. None. It’s all fake, fake news. The globe you had in your fifth grade classroom? Fake news. Every world map you’ve ever seen? Fake news. Every one.

And these things are so easy to check. Easy! But I never get phone calls from the media. How do they write a story like that in the Wall Street Journal, without asking me if Russia exists first? Or how do they write a story in the New York Times, put it on the front page? All it would take is one phone call. “Mr. Quote-Unquote ‘President’, is there a country called Russia?” “No, there is not.” “Thank you.” So easy. So easy.

Go ahead.

Q: I just wanted to get untangled. Very simply, you said today that you had the biggest electoral margins since Ronald Reagan with 304 or 306 electoral votes. In fact, President Obama got 365 in 2008.

THE QUOTE-UNQUOTE “PRESIDENT”: Well, I’m talking about Republican. Yes.

Q: President Obama, 332. George H.W. Bush, 426 when he won as President. So why should Americans trust –

THE QUOTE-UNQUOTE “PRESIDENT”: Well, no, I was told – I was given that information. And I believe literally everything I am told. Everything.

Q: I guess my question is, why should Americans trust you when you have accused the information they receive of being fake when you’re providing information that’s fake?

THE QUOTE-UNQUOTE “PRESIDENT”: It’s only fake if you don’t believe it. And I believe it, so it isn’t fake. But it was a very substantial victory. Do you agree with that?

Q: You’re the Quote-Unquote “President.”

THE QUOTE-UNQUOTE “PRESIDENT”: Okay, thank you. That’s a good answer. Yes.

Q: I just want to get you to clarify just a very important point. Can you say definitively that nobody on your campaign had any contacts with the Russians during your campaign? And, on the leaks, is it fake news or are these real leaks?

THE QUOTE-UNQUOTE “PRESIDENT”: Well, the leaks are real. The leaks are absolutely real. It’s the news about the leaks that’s fake.

So one thing that I felt it was very important to do – it’s very important to me. It’s very important. I don’t mind bad stories. I can handle a bad story better than anybody as long as it’s true. But I’m not okay when it is fake. And I don’t believe these stories, so they’re fake. Totally fake. I don’t see why this is so hard for some of you liars – and this is important, because there is nobody I have more respect for than reporters, than good reporters. Even though they’re all liars. The biggest liars. The biggest.

Yeah, go ahead.

Q: And if I may follow up on that – you said that the leaks are real, but the news is fake. I guess I don’t understand. It seems that there is a disconnect there. If the information coming from those leaks is real, then how can the stories be fake?

THE QUOTE-UNQUOTE “PRESIDENT”: You know what it is? Here’s the thing. I just see many, many untruthful things. And I know they’re untruthful because they hurt my feelings. You know the word “tone.” The tone is such hatred. I’m really not a bad person, by the way. I just want somebody to say that, to say that out loud on television where everybody will hear it. I just want somebody to love me. Anybody, really. As long as they’re on television.

But I am having a good time. Tomorrow they will say, Donald Trump rants and raves at the press. I’m not ranting and raving. I’m just telling you, you’re all liars. But – I’m not ranting and raving. I’m begging. Begging for somebody to love me like my father never did. Somebody on television. Somebody with terrific ratings, the best ratings. Please love me. Please. Please.

Okay, go ahead.

Q: For those who believe there is something to the latest stories, is there anything that you have learned over these last few weeks that you might be able to reveal that might ease their concerns that this isn’t fake news?

THE QUOTE-UNQUOTE “PRESIDENT”: It’s easy. Just don’t believe it. Then it doesn’t matter.

And, by the way, it would be great if we could get along with Russia, just so you understand that. We had Hillary Clinton try to do a reset. We had Hillary Clinton give Russia 20 percent of the uranium in our country. You know what uranium is, right? It’s this rock you can use to make nuclear bombs with. Nobody talks about that. Nobody talks about how you can make nuclear bombs out of uranium, or how Hillary Clinton gave Russia 20 percent of our uranium –

Q: No she didn’t.

THE QUOTE-UNQUOTE “PRESIDENT”: Yes she did. Yes. I know she did, because somebody told me, and I believe it. I believe literally everything I am told. I’m a busy man, it’s how I get so much done.

Now, if I give Russia 20 percent of our uranium, I’m a bad guy. And I’m not saying that I promised Vladimir Putin 20 percent of America’s uranium in exchange for winning me the election. I’m not saying that. But if someone tells me I did, I will believe it. Especially if that person is on television.

If we could get along with Russia, that’s a positive thing. I know politically it’s probably not good for me to say that. The greatest thing I could do politically would be to shoot that Russian ship that’s 30 miles offshore right out of the water. Everyone in this country is going to say, oh, it’s so great. And they’d get to learn a lot more about uranium and nuclear bombs, too. So some people would call it a win-win.

Q: Is Putin testing you, do you believe, sir?

THE QUOTE-UNQUOTE “PRESIDENT”: No, I don’t think so. I think Putin probably assumes that he’ll find out how strong I am once the next set of ratings comes out. That’s how I would do it.

Look, it would be so much easier for me politically to be tough on Russia. But if Russia and the United States actually got together and got along – and don’t forget, we’re a very powerful nuclear country and so are they. There’s no upside. I’ve been briefed. I’ve seen the most highly classified, top-secret information there is, okay? And I can tell you: nuclear holocaust would be like no other. It would be the biggest, most beautiful holocaust you’ve ever seen. Big league.

Q: Will there be a response, Mr. Quote-Unquote “President”?

THE QUOTE-UNQUOTE “PRESIDENT”: I don’t have to tell you what I’m going to do in North Korea. And I don’t have to tell you what I’m going to do with Iran. You know why? Because I don’t know myself. And eventually you guys are going to get tired of asking that question, and then I can go golfing again. So when you ask me, what am I going to do with the ship – the Russian ship, as an example – I’m not going to tell you. But hopefully, I won’t have to do anything. Except golf. Okay.

Q: I was just hoping that we could get a yes-or-no answer on one of these questions involving Russia. Can you say whether you are aware that anyone who advised your campaign had contacts with Russia during the course of the election?

THE QUOTE-UNQUOTE “PRESIDENT”: Russia is a ruse. A ruse. I have nothing to do with Russia, haven’t made a phone call to Russia in years. I spoke to Putin twice. We had a very, very good talk. But I have nothing to do with Russia. To the best of my knowledge, no person that I deal with does.

Now, Manafort has totally denied it. He denied it. Now people knew he was a consultant in that part of the world for a while, but not for Russia. I think he represented Ukraine, or people having to do with Ukraine, or a puppet government installed in Ukraine by Russia, or – whoever. But people knew that. Everybody knew that.

And also, as I mentioned before, Russia does not exist.

Q: What we haven’t really heard be addressed is an uptick in anti-Semitism and how the government is planning to take care of it. There have been reports that 48 bomb threats have been made against Jewish centers all across the country in the last couple of weeks –

THE QUOTE-UNQUOTE “PRESIDENT”: Okay, sit down. I understand the rest of your question.

Here’s the story, folks. Number one, I am the least anti-Semitic person that you’ve ever seen in your entire life. Even if you’re personally Jewish yourself, I am less anti-Semitic than you are.

Number two, racism – the least racist person. The least racist. I’m even less racist than Frederick Douglass, who’s done an amazing job and is being recognized more and more. Even less racist than him.

But let me just tell you something – that I hate the charge. People that know me – and you heard the Prime Minister, you heard Netanyahu yesterday – he said, I’ve known Donald Trump for a long time, and then he said, forget it. And he has no reason to lie on this. None. It’s not like the literal survival of his country depends on a flow of money and weapons that I could turn off with a snap of my fingers or something, okay? So you should take that, instead of having to get up and ask a very insulting question like that.

Yeah, go ahead. Go ahead.

Q: Are you going to include the CBC, Mr. Quote-Unquote “President,” in your conversations with your urban agenda, your inner city agenda, as well as your –

THE QUOTE-UNQUOTE “PRESIDENT”: The what now?

Q: Are you going to include the Congressional Black Caucus, as well as –

THE QUOTE-UNQUOTE “PRESIDENT”: Oh, right, the blacks. Hey, you’re black. I tell you what, do you want to set up the meeting? Do you want to set up the meeting?

Q: No, no, no.

THE QUOTE-UNQUOTE “PRESIDENT”: Are they friends of yours? Because you’re black and they’re black, I mean.

Q: I’m just a reporter.

THE QUOTE-UNQUOTE “PRESIDENT”: A black reporter.

Q: Well, yes.

THE QUOTE-UNQUOTE “PRESIDENT”: So call them and set up the meeting. Call them on your Obamaphone or whatever. Let’s do it.

Q: Dear Lord.

THE QUOTE-UNQUOTE “PRESIDENT”: Okay, that’s it. I want to thank everybody very much. It’s a great honor to be with you, to be with all you professional liars. Thank you. Thank you very much.

(Applause)

END

2:13 P.M. EST

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