Remarks by Quote-Unquote "President" Trump in Budget Meeting
12:39 P.M. EST
DJT: Thank you all. This will be somewhat of an informal meeting. I want to congratulate Mick Mulvaney, who’s been confirmed finally – we waited a long time – as Director of the Office of Management and Budget. And he’s going to be an absolutely great director. Total confidence in Mick. Even though he failed to pay more than $15,000 in payroll taxes in the past. Total confidence in his ability to manage a budget. Total.
Unfortunately, the budget we’re inheriting – essentially inheriting – is a mess. The finances of our country are a mess. But we’re going to clean them up. We’ve already saved a lot; billions and billions of dollars have been saved. We’ve saved so much that it’s not necessary for me to cite a single example of saving money here. Just look out your window, you’ll see it. Billions, raining down from the sky.
We have enormous work to do as the national debt doubled over the last eight years, and my economic plans are projected to double it again over the next eight. Lots of work to do to keep up with all the damage we’re doing. Lots.
We’re going to be spending the money in a very, very careful manner. We must do a lot more with less. And, as you know, careful and cautious spending is what the Trump brand is all about. Not spending money like a drunken sailor to give people the idea that you’re richer than you actually are. No. Careful, cautious.
We have appointed a Cabinet that knows how to manage dollars wisely. I’ve known many of the folks for a long time. They’ve all been tremendously successful at siphoning money out of other peoples’ pockets into their own. And that’s why I will direct them to manage the country’s dollars and your dollars very wisely. We won’t let your money be wasted anymore. We’re going to run government smoothly, efficiently, and on behalf of the richest people in the country, to make sure they stay rich and get even richer. I will be holding everybody accountable for that, and I have no doubt that this group – in particular, this group will do a fantastic job.
I want to congratulate Steve Mnuchin as our new Secretary of the Treasury. He’s going to be outstanding. Tremendous track record – like me, he got his start in business with a big assist from a rich father. I always say you can tell a lot about somebody by who they choose to be their parents. I have great confidence in him.
So we’re going to continue on, and we’re going to take this budget, which is – in all fairness, I’ve only been here for four weeks, so I can’t take too much of the blame for what’s happened. Though it is pretty surprising how much damage a president can do in four weeks. Turns out it’s a lot more than I would have guessed. A lot more.
And with that, we’re going to have a little meeting, and I’m going to nod my head periodically like I understand what everybody else is talking about. And then President Bannon says I can watch cable TV news for an hour, which is nice.
END 12:43 P.M. EST
The original document parodied by this page is pretty ridiculous all by itself.