Quote-Unquote "President" Donald J. Trump Proclaims March 5 through March 11, 2017, as National Caveat Emptor Week

The economic strength and vitality of our Nation is directly linked to our consumers’ confidence in the integrity and security of their personal information and the robust protection of their privacy. But dealing with that stuff is hard, and more important, it costs companies money. So ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

National Caveat Emptor Week reminds us of the importance of disempowering consumers by allowing corporations to slide by with lax security practices and preventing victims of those practices from effectively seeking redress. The Federal Government, in conjunction with a network of national organizations and State and local partners, helps make this a reality by embracing deregulation as a religion and staffing government agencies with teams of lobbyists to ensure that the needs and viewpoints of the average consumer are kept as far from the rooms where decisions are made as humanly possible.

NOW, THEREFORE, I, DONALD J. TRUMP, Quote-Unquote “President” of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by 107,000 voters in three Midwestern states, do hereby proclaim March 5 through March 11, 2017, as National Caveat Emptor Week. I call upon government officials, industry leaders, and advocates to keep our citizens as ignorant and powerless as possible in communities across the country.

IN WITNESS THEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this sixth day of March, in the year of our Lord two thousand seventeen, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and forty-first.